2nd Annual MW/TTh Picnic and Inter-Class Mating Opportunity Huge Success! 
Roxbury Park, Los Angeles

Sunday saw the completion of the second  annual BHP Intramural Football event and Spam-Carving Festival, featuring participants from cross-town rival "sets" of performing artists, exotic dancers, body-modification fetishists and assorted exhibitionists from the Skylight Theatre and Beverly Hills Playhouse, respectively.

Highlights included a mass reenactment of the last game of Buck-Buck to take place in the Western Hemisphere, The Treeing of the Monkey Woman Ceremony, ritual games of stoop tag wherein contesttants pursue an inflated pig bladder across a grassy field while attempting to steal fertility skirts attached to each other's waists, and a feast known to locals as the Day of the Burned Ox.

In an attempt to foster ethnic diversity and, in fact, bio-diversity, a variety of international cuisine was served and diverse customs celebrated. Following are some highlights:
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Roxbury Groundskeeper and Sommerlier Rene du Cockatou with his extended family.	Festival Committee member, negotiates for day's use of Roxbury Park with it's hereditary ruller, Chief Yimbo Bohemio and his Queen, Doris.	"People will say we're in love." Twinkie Pixilator and Riff Rockwell, still smiling despite being grounded by FAA officials for violating LAPD airspace with their Bell Rocket Packs.	"Ooooh, me so horrrny!" Cabin fever starts to set in at Biff Buffwasser's house.
The Monkey Woman is treed again for the year! Tragically, another blond child had to be sacrificed.	"The Only Gal Who Could Tame Him." Country superstar Wanda Jean Jackson and her former makeup artist, now husband and bass player, Dirk Shredder.	"I feel pretty. It's great to be in America." "Yes, but a boy like that, he killed your brother."	A rare Tahitian Tree Elf is snared! Thought to be worth millions to research organizations, capture technique is simple, according to zoologist Tanda Lei: "You just smear a little peanut butter on your nipples and pretend to be asleep while you wait for a strike. Next thing you know, Wham! This little sucker hit like a large-mouth bass on a rubber frog! Took me forty minutes to land 'er!
The Kiddie table.	"We finally did it!" Pro dog-walkers and aspiring sorceresses Dee Dee Van Doren and Renatta Pinata have finally succeeded in turning Dee Dee's fiancee, Doody Highwater, back into a pug dog named Nappy. "He'll be easier to walk this way," exclaims Renata, " and he's actually a lot cuter now." Dee Dee clutches Doody's replacement in her right hand. "I never should have kissed Nappy and turned him into Doody in the first place. Talk about high maintenance!" Indeed! Note rose in Nappy's teeth.	"Wow, you were right! These are huge!" "You should see the goal post that goes with them." A quiet moment on the sidelines.	"So you take the Spam and put it in a blender, then you add the eggs and beef jerky and frappe the shit out of it. Then you do twenty sets of crunches, twirl a dead cat over your head in a graveyard at midnight and drink it all down. You won't get abs, but I'll be laughing my ass off......."
A group of Mormon missionaries dropped in for beans and wieners. From left: Betty, Bitsy, Bob and Slutface.	"I don't come with Johns, and get your mitts off my sandwich."